Want to dramatically improve your life?
Start by imagining how to completely destroy it.
Here’s why this works:
Our brains are naturally wired for threat detection. It´s a good thing.
It’s an evolutionary superpower that kept our ancestors alive – they didn’t survive by focusing on pretty sunsets, but by spotting the lion in the grass.
Let’s put this survival instinct to work with a powerful exercise I recently used with my coaching clients.
Take something you deeply care about.
Let’s use parenting as an example.
I love my daughter Leyla.
Step 1: “How could I absolutely destroy my relationship with her?”
The answers flow effortlessly:
• Never express love
• React with anger to every mistake
• Ignore her passions
• Micromanage her life
• Prioritize work over quality time
• Break promises consistently
I´m uncomfortable even writing this. 😳
But here’s where the magic happens.
Step 2: Flip each negative into its positive opposite:
→ Express love daily, especially during tough moments
→ Respond to her mistakes with patience and teaching
→ Actively support her interests
→ Give her space to grow independently
→ Create intentional quality time
→ Keep every promise made
See what happened?
I just created a precise roadmap for having a great relationship with my daughter.
This “reverse engineering of failure” works for everything:
• Relationships
• Business strategies
• Personal goals
In business, we call this a “pre-mortem”:
“It’s 2027. Our company/project failed spectacularly. What happened?”
This exercise cuts through the positive thinking fluff and reveals exactly what needs attention.
The key insight?
Sometimes the best (and clearest) way forward is to first imagine the worst way backward.
Try this today:
Pick something you want to succeed in.
Imagine how you’d completely destroy it.
Then do exactly the opposite.
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