Maybe you know what I mean.
That moment when something shifts inside you:
โข For me, itโs putting on my Green Beret
โข Or it was sliding into my ghillie suit
โข Or that final weapons check before leaving the compound
In an instant, I became:
โข Laser-focused
โข Ruthlessly determined
โข Driven by mission
But also:
โข Capable of controlled but extreme violence
โข Stripped of unnecessary empathy
โข Absolutely uncompromising
Itโs not good or bad. It just is.
Itยดs what was needed to get the job done.
This warrior persona?
Itโs been drilled into me through years of Commando training and deployments.
Years of living and breathing warrior culture. Itโs as natural as breathing.
And it served me well. Parts of it still do.
You probably have these personas as well.
But hereโs the thing about personas – theyโre like specialized tools.
Perfect for some jobs, dangerous for others.
– That warrior mentality that keeps you alive in combat? It can destroy a family dinner.
– That mission-first mindset that wins battles? It can wreck relationships.
I see it all the time with people I coach:
โข The CEO treating their kids like employees
โข The entrepreneur who canโt turn off โbusiness modeโ
โข The high-achiever sacrificing their health at the altar of financial success
Weโre all wearing masks. And thatโs okay.
Youโre different with:
โข Your parents vs. your friends
โข Your spouse vs. your children
โข Your team vs. your clients
The problem isnโt the masks.
Itโs not knowing youโre wearing them and being unable to switch them when the moment calls for it.
Hereโs a simple framework I use:
โก๏ธ ๐๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ป๐๐ถ๐ณ๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ฟ๐ผ๐น๐ฒ๐ What matters most at the moment? Parent? Partner? Leader?
โก๏ธ ๐๐ฒ๐ณ๐ถ๐ป๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ถ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐น ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป What traits embody excellence in each role?
โก๏ธ ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐บ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐น Who represents this ideal? (Real or imagined)
โก๏ธ ๐๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป๐๐ถ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป ๐ฟ๐ถ๐๐๐ฎ๐น A physical action that signals the shift
Pro tip: Use a token. Like carrying a small stone in your pocket.
When you touch it, youยดll remember which version of you needs to show up.
For example, when you switch from a hard-charging CEO to a loving, patient, present parent.
Because hereโs the truth:
Weโre not one person. Weโre many. And thatโs our superpower.
The key isnโt to find your โtrue self.โ
Itโs to master all your selves.
What mask are you wearing right now?
And is it the right one for this moment?
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